7. Weekend Vibes with my Tribe.

My car is packed with snacks, fuzzy jammies, yoga pants, and a good quantity of beverages from the LCBO. To say that I have been looking forward to this girl’s weekend is an understatement. The last couple of years have been challenging; I turned 50, COVID restrictions have kept me at bay, social interactions have been limited to zoom, and vacation plans have been put on hold. So when one of my friends sent a message about a winter, February getaway, it didn’t take a lot of convincing to respond with an “I’m in!” A few simple days away from the norm with my tribe is exactly what I need.

We call ourselves “The Dangerous Curves,” and we are a group of women initially brought together through our love for motorcycles and riding. Although we share this common interest, we are somewhat of a misfit group. We range in ages from 40-65; there is a teacher, a factory worker, an Artist, and a hairstylist. There is the loud, boisterous party girl, the quiet listener, the practical planner, and the mom who makes sure we don’t do anything too stupid. We are all so different, but when we come together something magical happens.

We don’t have anything elaborate planned. In fact, there are no plans at all. These are the girlfriends with whom you can do nothing with, and yet that time together ranks as some of the best.

This weekend is a time for us to let our hair down. No makeup, no bra, no routine, no rules, and no judgement. We will Laugh til our bellies hurt (or we pee ourselves) and dance to the 80’s into the wee hours of the morning. When we are together time loses all meaning, standing still at 1:50. We will soak in the hot tub, eat everything we shouldn’t, and pour a few too many heavy handed drinks. (Alisa style). We will participate in fossil talk at its finest; sharing our menopausal whoas, hair removal techniques, and latest wrinkle remedies. My tribe will tell me what I need to hear, as opposed to what I want to hear, constructively and without judgement. We will share our pain, pour out our souls, and mend our hearts.

There is nothing better than sharing with a group of women who appreciate and understand me. I mean, who could ask for a better group of cheerleaders. A weekend with these girls leaves me feeling like a load has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel inspired to tackle my dreams, let go of the baggage I came with, and be reassured that I’m awesome just the way I am.

Cheers to “The Curves”, the many memories we have made and the great times yet to come.

Have you found your tribe? Make sure you check out “The Weekly Seed” next week for tips and tricks on how to find yours.

Thanks for reading.

Laura

6. 50 Reasons Why

My wife turned 50 this week.

Being that much older than her, as she often reminds me, I turned 51 in December, I have had an entire year for that half-century number to sink in. As she watches the “50” sparkler fizzle down on her cake, I can’t help but smile. In that moment, the “50” to her meant that there were more years behind her than in front, it meant more grey hair, more wrinkles, and a few extra pounds. To her it was the realization that she had come to the end of an era. To me it symbolized the beginning of a new one. “50” does not need to be the marker for “old age.” It is a milestone event that gives you permission to take those markers and scribble outside the lines, redesign the picture of your life, and use all the colours in the box. As our lifetime clock ticks louder, it is time to focus on what really matters. We are old enough to know who we are, yet young enough to make it happen. Happy 50th Birthday Carol. Together, we will tackle whatever comes our way headstrong and shoulders back. We’ve got this!

Here are 50 reasons why I’m ok with being 50.

1. I am only a few years away from being able to take advantage of senior’s day at Shoppers Drug Mart.

2. Retirement is within reach and I am looking forward to it.

3. I have an excuse for forgetting where I put my keys.

4. I appreciate and love babies, but I no longer have to get up at 4am to feed them.

5. Puzzles have become fun again.

6. I understand that money is just money and I can be happy with or without it.

7. I finally understand where my parents were coming from.

8. And that they were right about everything.

9. I can appreciate a good glass of scotch.

10. The styles I loved in the 80’s are back in style.

11. Going through menopause means no more monthly cycle. Hooray!

12. I have a real car; the car I have always wanted… my lil’ bug Alice.

13. I could write a book from the weird dreams I have.

14. Christmas has become about family not presents.

15. My glasses have become my new fashion statement. (I can’t read without them)

16. The childhood toys I’ve hung onto are now considered vintage and selling them on eBay could make me millions.

17. I can sing along to all the new rap remakes of the oldies.

18. I have found my tribe.

19. The home and garden network inspires me.

20. I don’t care what other people think. There is freedom in that.

21. I have more time to spend on my creative outlets.

22. I feel wise.

23. Even though my boobs are a few inches lower and my hair is greying, I love myself more now than I did 20 years ago.

24. Saying no is easier

25. Saying yes is easier

26. I have forgiven myself.

27. I have forgiven others.

28. 50 is the new 40.

29. 9:30 is an acceptable time to go to bed.

30. I don’t experience FOMO.

31. It’s about experiences not stuff.

32. But if I want to buy something frivolous for myself I can, because I already have what I need.

33. My kids refer to me to their friends as their Pinterest mom.

34. I’ve finally stopped biting my nails.

35. I’m not afraid to learn new things.

36. I know what I want to be when I grow up.

37. I don’t hit the tree at the bottom of the toboggan hill; my weight slows me down.

38. I appreciate my Knix.

39. I still have a shape, therefore I am in shape.

40. Breaking the rules is more fun than ever!

41. I can laugh at myself.

42. I can finally beat my mom in a game of scrabble.

43. No filter for this girl.

44. Investments, insurance and RRSP’s actually mean something.

45. I don’t need a lot of closet space. A couple pairs of yoga pants and some comfy jammies and I’m good to go.

46. I have an excuse for being moody; it’s called menopause.

47. I know how precious time is.

48. I finally made the cheerleader squad. I am my own cheerleader.

49. I can enjoy a meal without photographing it. (although I still sometimes do.)

50. I am grateful for the life I have lived, and the life yet to come.
    

Thank you for reading “The Weekly Seed.”

50 is fabulous!

Laura

5. Mirror Mirror

My alarm woke me from a deep sleep. What a strange dream I was having. I resist the urge to hit the snooze button and open my eyes. With a big stretch and a heavy sigh, I slowly head for the washroom. I am unsteady in my steps and there seems to be a pain in my hip that wasn’t there yesterday. As I make my way past the mirror, I take a sideways glance. Who was that woman looking back at me? I recognize myself… yet I don’t. Reluctantly I face my reflection. My dishevelled hair hangs like straw in front of my eyes. Is that a new grey hair I see? Maybe I’ll pick up some dye on the way home from work today. I part my hair to reveal a time worn, pale face. My Hooded eyelids droop over my tired, red eyes. I fixate on the dark circles, resembling that of a Racoon. As I move in closer to the mirror, I begin to notice all the other flaws. The unsightly, red bump that had surfaced, the deep wrinkles, the oily pimples hiding in the crease of my nose, the stained, crooked teeth. Wait a minute… is that a mutant hair on my chin? I looked away with disappointment and disgust. This is going to be a bad day.

Why is it that we obsessively focus on the negatives reflecting back at us? Why can’t we be satisfied with our natural appearance? Perhaps, appropriately enough, we need a little self-reflection.

We are so quick to harshly judge our features and imperfections, and when we don’t like what we see, it takes a huge toll on our health and our happiness.

Learning how to see deeper, beyond our skin, requires a change in attitude.

Try the following exercise each day for a week and you will start to see your thought patterns shifting. This isn’t about giving yourself high-fives in the mirror or blowing kisses at one-self, it is about acknowledging, accepting, and getting to know yourself again.

1. Find a quiet spot and get comfortable in front of a mirror.

2. Close your eyes and relax. When you in a calm state slowly open your eyes and come face-to-face with the image you see in front of you.

3. What is the first thing you see and think? Acknowledge your first impressions and let them drop away.

4. Continue your gaze. Are you saddened by the critical nature of your thoughts? Are you having a hard time holding your gaze? What are your facial expressions telling you; are you angry, sad, disappointed, tired?

5. Continue to observe your feeling and thoughts. Allow them to be there but without judgement. Look at yourself with compassion, understanding and self-love. Notice the beautiful things that make you, you.

6. Finish up with affirmations of kindness.

Most of us look at ourselves in the mirror without really looking. By seeing beyond the physical flaws you can combat the self-criticism with self-compassion.

This, by far, was one of the hardest exercises I have ever done. At first I was very awkward and self conscious. It was difficult to let go of the negativity that was looking back at me; however as each day passed, I became more and more comfortable with the image in the mirror.

Today I looked in the mirror. At first glance I saw my greying hair, red, tired eyes, red bump, wrinkles, pimples and crooked teeth. I looked away. At this moment I had a choice; I could continue to focus on the negatives, or I could treat myself with more acceptance and compassion. I looked at my reflection once again. There is more to me than meets the eye. I am strong, caring, creative and beautiful, mutant hair and all. This is going to be a good day.

Be kind to yourself and thank you for reading “The Weekly Seed.”

Laura