8. Finding your Tribe

The feeling of wanting to fit in, or to be part of a tribe, is something we all can all relate to. It gives us a sense of purpose, acceptance and fills that void of loneliness. As humans we are hardwired for connection. But finding your tribe is a lifelong endeavour and isn’t as easy as just finding people to hang out with.

Growing up I struggled with “fitting in.” I wasn’t pretty enough to be with the popular girls, nor smart enough to be with the scholars. I wasn’t bass-ass enough to be with the dopers yet not goodie-two-shoes enough for the church kids. And I certainly couldn’t admit that I liked girls so the LGBT group was out. Every time I tried to fit in, I felt like a square peg trying to fit in the round hole. For too long I tried to please others; trying to become pretty, bad-ass or cool just to fit in. It wasn’t until fairly recently that I realized my tribal members were right there for the taking. It wasn’t until I started to be my true, authentic self that I started to find my tribe.

Your tribe members are people who accept you just as you are. They support you through the difficult times, provide you with a sense of belonging and encourage you to pursue your dreams. Have you found your tribe? These 5 tips will help you on your way to discovering yours.

1. Know who you are. Before you find your tribe you must first find yourself. You probably have a good idea of who you want to be, but that may not be who you were designed to be. Be yourself and you’ll attract authentic friendships into your life.

2. Know what you need. What are you looking for? A brutally honest confidant? A mentor? A friend that allows you to be a hot mess and still loves you? Be fully confident in seeking out ideal partnerships and know that there is a tribe of people out there no matter what your needs are.

3. Get out there and be open. Take the time to try different things and figure out what you enjoy. Go to that event solo. Join that yoga class. Take part in that workshop. Go for that Friday night drink with your co-workers. You may discover an activity and a group of people that were never on your radar by just putting yourself out there.

4. Be the tribe member you are seeking. Be available to others. Be authentic and vulnerable. Be observant and vigilant. Be prepared to give as much if not more than you receive.

5. A reason, a season or a lifetime. Everyone we meet holds a special place in our lives. Are they there for a reason? A season? Or a lifetime? It’s up to you to decide where they fit. Be ok with being dissappointed if they don’t turn out to be the best friend there ever was but also be grateful for the role they played.

“If you want to know who your tribe is, speak your truth. Then see who sticks around. Those are the people who get a spot in your blanket fort.” Nanea Hoffman

Thanks for reading The Weekly Seed. Find your tribe and love them hard.

Laura