Autism is Awesome

Rory has taught me so much. Patience, patience, patience. Routine, routine, routine. Did you know that the world is a much louder and brighter place than you realize? And that dragons and dinosaurs are real? And that there is such a thing as “too” honest? He has shown me the importance of embracing his strengths and celebrating ALL his wins. But most importantly he demonstrates everyday that being different is awesome!

Today, April 2, is Autism awareness day, a day dedicated to spread awareness and acceptance of individuals with autism. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain. It is a spectrum disorder. The symptoms and characteristics can present themselves in a wide variety of combinations, from mild to severe. Level 1 requires some support. Level 2 requires substantial support. Level 3 requires very substantial support. It took us years and a lot of persistence to receive the level 2 diagnosis for our son Rory. This diagnosis was needed to receive the support that served him best, but each autistic individual is different, and so are their strengths and difficulties. Therefore, there is no way of predicting or accounting for the unique details of Rory’s personality or behaviours.

Rory sees, hears, and feels the world differently. He is a sponge for knowledge, wants to be a scientist or a dragon master when he grows up, and although it would seem that he would rather keep to himself, he wants friends and social interaction just as much as any other kid his age. Having a little insight into Rory’s world has taught me so much. Perhaps by sharing a few of these insights with you, you too will look at things a little differently.

Patience, patience, patience

It takes Rory time to process what is said. Slow down. Be clear. Give him time to react. One thing at a time. You may think he is not listening as he wiggles in chair, or paces back and forth, but believe me, he is taking it all in. His ability to retain knowledge is quite remarkable. Give him a chance, you’ll be amazed at what he can do and what he has to say.

Routine, routine, routine

Routine makes Rory feel safe. It helps him cope and gets him through the day. If something changes, and he is not prepared for it, it causes him a lot of anxiety. From having his carrots cut a certain way, to watching the same you tube video over and over, to morning and bedtime routines, he needs to know what comes next so he plan and prepare for it. This is not to say that he doesn’t like to experience new things, he does, he just needs to be in the know so he can adapt.

Louder, brighter, bigger

Imagine for a moment that you were wearing 3-D glasses and hearing in Dolby surround sound with the inability to turn down the volume. Everything would be just too loud, too bright, and too much to process all at once. This is what Rory experiences each and every day. We are conditioned to live with a constant hum of noise around us. We are able to tune out what we don’t want to hear. Rory is unable to filter out the sound of his brother’s rap music coming from the basement, the conversation I am having on the phone, the neighbours lawn mower, the dog barking down the street, the flag flapping in the wind, the hum of the air conditioner, the bright sun beating through the window, the smell of bacon frying in the kitchen. Each individual sound, sight and smell is heightened. It is overwhelming. He will often retreat to our bedroom or hide under a blanket with his iPad in attempt to shut out the world around him. Last night, he was experiencing an overload. The dog was barking, the tv was on, supper was cooking. He was visibly upset. I asked him what it felt like. He explained, “it’s like there is a big balloon in my head. It keeps getting bigger and bigger until it takes over my brain. And then, boom, it pops. It’s going to be messy.”

Imagination

Rory is going to be the next J. K. Rowling. It is like he is living a live-action movie in his head at all times. Sometimes this movie involves dragons, dinosaurs, or made up creatures. Sometimes he places himself in a replay of the latest youtube video he just watched. He calls this his “thinking time.” He will pace back and forth, make exaggerated movements with his body, and chatters away. I wish I could catch his stories in their entirety, as I’m sure they would make Oprah’s list. To him, his thoughts and imagination are his reality. Dragons are real. Dinosaurs are going to live again. The stories he creates in his mind are true. His truth. This innocence is something I truly hope he holds onto.

Honest, to a fault

I remember a time when Rory was 4. He approached a man with white hair and a beard and inspected him closely. When I say closely, I mean 2 inches from from his face. He touched his hair and announced, “you have white hair, you must be old. Wait a minute, are you related to Santa?” Mortified, I apologized profusely. Thankfully the man realized that the comment was coming from a 4 year old who lacked social filters and was not offended. He is now 9, and is still, and always will be, brutally honest, sometimes to a fault. It’s not “cute” anymore, and is sometimes a cause for embarrassment. He is often pegged as rude or disrespectful, but his transparency is something I think is awesome!

Today, and everyday, is a day to celebrate his differences. If we all take time to respect and understand people with autism, our world will become more enriching and inclusive of everyone.

Thank you for reading The Weekly Seed.

Laura